Posts Tagged ‘Fear’

“Environmentally” Sensitive Area

October 8, 2012

~Hale Dwoskin, “The Sedona Method”

Sunday morning I decided to go on a hike.  For the last several weeks I have felt kicked around by life.  Every time I seem to turn a corner, another “opportunity for growth,” in the form of a major life disappointment seems to await me.  I feel as if I am letting everyone in my life down, failing at my business, failing as a Mom and a major loser when it comes to relationships.  I decided to have a conversation with God before I went on my hike.  It went something like this:

Hey God, it’s me, Chris (Ok, I know that is not original!).  I was wondering if you could do me a favor?  Lately I have been feeling kicked when I am down and very alone here in this fearful world.  I know my purpose and why you have put me here and I understand my road demands much more than the average person, but…can you cut me a little slack?  Can I have a small break?  A little breather maybe?  I am exhausted on every level and feel as if I am there for everyone but no one is there for me.  I feel very alone.  Can you send some help my way?  Throw me a bone?  In return I will, as always, be your channel.  Feel free to send through me any messages you feel the people whose paths I cross need to hear in whatever way they need to hear it.  I think that is a good deal, how about you?  You’re the best!  Amen.

So, off I went on my hike.  As I was walking the four mile round trip hike up Pinnacle Peak, I passed an area that said “environmentally sensitive area.”  If there had been a bench right there, I would have sat my sweaty, tired butt on it!  It seemed that area was made and named just for me.  Sensitive to say the least!

We have two environments in which we live:  external and internal.  Your external environment is everything you can experience with your five senses…your apparent “reality.”  Your internal environment is that which goes on inside of your head – your thoughts and feelings.  This internal environment also includes your psychic senses.  Yes, I said psychic.  We all have them…even you non-believers.  Intuition, visual, auditory and kinesthetic senses exist within us all.  We use them every day.  When we tend to be more sensitive in our external environment due to circumstances happening which we have no control, our internal environment takes over.

I don’t know about you but on a daily basis I choose to live according to my internal environment rather than my external one.  I choose to believe in synchronicity, guidance, signs, that I can create my own reality, answered prayers and that a higher power is watching over me and always by my side…no matter what.

We are currently in times where our external environment is in chaos.  Fear is running the show.  If we give into fear it pollutes our internal environment.  Take a moment today to “clean the air” in your internal environment.  De-pollute it by getting rid of negative thinking, self-depreciating thoughts, and a belief that it is unsafe to be yourself and to speak your truth, beliefs that some external force or person has power over you.  Set up your own filter…decide what you will allow in and what needs to go.

It’s ok to feel over-sensitive every once and awhile.  It keeps us on our toes and aware that there is some “cleaning house” that needs to be done.  Get out the broom and start sweeping…

Now where did I put my vacuum?

Chris

To sign up for Chris’ Blog go to www.ChrisSopa.com.

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .

Oh My!!!

August 30, 2012

As we must plant a seed before we reap a harvest, so we must believe before our prayers can be answered.”  ~Ernest Holmes, “The Science of Mind

Do you ever feel as if the line “Lions and Tigers and Bears, OH MY!” from the Wizard of Oz is your life this month?  There are many things happening all around us; people who are acting out of sorts, places that just do not feel the same and situations that seem to no longer fit in our lives.  This is all part of the process…the process of ascension.  What is ascension?  Ascension is simply the process of moving your soul, your inner self, to a new level of awareness.  It is happening to all of us as we speak.  2012 is not about the end of the world; 2012 if about a new way – a new consciousness.  One of which we work together, we honor ourselves and our brothers and sisters, one where there is no judgment, no deceit, no lies; one where we all finally realize the true meaning of unconditional love.

August finds us all facing many realities in our lives.  With two full moons, the last one being tomorrow, August 31st, we are asked to look once and for all at our lives and “clean house.”  Have you noticed the turmoil this month?  Have you noticed the constant bombardment of chaos, drama and upset?  Although you may perceive these things as “bad” because they do not feel so great, they are blessings for you.  They are coming up to show you, as they have time and time again, what you need to balance, release and work on in your life.  Are there people in your life that just cause constant drama, that do not make you feel your best?  Are you in situations or a job that causes you undue stress?  Are you tired of not having enough money and wonder why no matter what you do money slips through your fingers and you just never have enough?

As we move through these times, we need to remember two things to cope:

1.  Your feelings are the physical manifestation of guidance – Your feelings are the language of the universe.  You have them for a reason – and that reason is not to make you feel miserable.  If you have been feeling down this month and ready to throw in the towel (trust me, I have been there all month as well!), try to look at what is happening from a different perspective.  The situations that are causing you stress and bringing up these “not so good” feelings are there to show you what needs to change in your life.  The feelings are the answers to your prayers.  They are the things showing you what you need to do to change for the better.  The challenge is having the courage to do what you already know needs to be done.  Is it pulling away from certain people in your life?  Is it ending a relationship?  Is it changing jobs?  Is it finally kicking an addictive habit?  And my all time favorite; is it changing how you think about who you are so you can finally live into the Divinity which is your birthright?

Try unconditionally loving yourself for once-it’s not so easy.  You are your worst critic.  If you spoke to and treated your friends the way your treat yourself, how many friends would you have?  That’s what I thought…

 2.  Know what you need to do to keep your center – Do you know what things you like to do that make you feel good?  When you are stressed beyond belief, what are some things that relieve your stress (good, healthy things – wine does not count!)?  We all need to know how to cope when things just don’t seem to be going our way.  I spent 4 years on the Board of Education and one of the areas I saw in our youth and that I see in adults in my Coaching practice that is the cause of most illnesses is the lack of coping skills.  How do you cope?  Crawling in bed and throwing the covers over your head is not coping.

Honest moment – for the last two days I have been depressed beyond belief.  My trip out east to visit my “old life” was disappointing to say the least.  Nothing out east had really changed…but I have changed…for the better.  Any endings bring sadness and when we allow sadness in for too long its best friend is usually fear.  I had every fear in history come up for me the last two days; fear of not having enough money, fear of my future, fear of success, fear for my children who are both starting new chapters in their lives, fear of being alone for the rest of my life, fear of not making it to where I want to go in my business, fear of what others were thinking of me…blah, blah, blah.  I had to re-group and cope.  How did I do that?  I pulled back, took a walk, listened to music, read passages in books that inspire me, re-read my bucket list and surrounded myself with friends who inspire me and lift me up and I shut everything else out.  I took care of me.  Did I snap out of it?  For the most part…but remember that your life is about the journey, not the end point.  We signed up for it all; sadness and joy because that is the beauty of being human.

Why not make your “Oh my” feel good for once!  😉

This is a kind Universe and everyone and everything in it is working in your favor.  There are no tests, blocks or obstacles in your way, except your own projections of fear into your future.”  ~Doreen Virtue

I like my ruby red slippers!  Click, click!

Chris

To sign up for Chris’ Blog go to www.ChrisSopa.Wordpress.com.

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .

Do You Know Where You Are?

August 28, 2012

You cannot get to where you want to go until you know where you are starting from.

If I got in my car and wanted to drive to “Destination B” I would need to know two things; where do I want to end up and where am I starting from.  I cannot get in my car and say, “Hey, let’s drive to Boston” and get there if I do not know where I am starting my journey.  How would I know whether I need to drive, fly or take a boat?  How would I know if there were going to be any detours along the way?  How would I know how long it would take to get there?

Many people can tell you at least vaguely at least one goal they would like to achieve in their lives.  Many set these goals and never achieve them.  Why?  They have failed to do two things:  clearly define exactly what it is they want and clearly define where they are starting from.  If I have a goal to be a New York Times bestselling author (which I do!), the first thing you might say I need to do to start on that goal would be to write a book (duh!), but you need to start even more basic than that.  I would need to look at my writing skills first and where I may need to brush up to make them better.  I need to do my research and study other authors who have made it to the New York Times list and see what they have done.  And most importantly, I would need to take a look deep within myself and define why do I want this goal?  If it is so important to me, why haven’t I achieved it yet?  (And you are not allowed to blame others for the answer to that one – leave the victim mentality at the door!)  The only reason you have not achieved what you want in life is because of one person…YOU!  Yes, there are outside circumstances that need to be in alignment for a dream to manifest, but have you been present to notice the opportunities when they arrive?  Have you “given up” in your head by procrastinating and making excuses not to do what you need to do?  Is F.E.A.R. stopping you?  Is low self-esteem getting in your way – do you feel “unworthy” of that level of success?

Sit down with a pen and paper and answer the following questions twice.  In the first round, answer the question after thinking about it for a minute…using your conscious part of your brain.  In the second round, answer each question with the very first thing that comes to your mind…use your intuition.  (This exercise works best if you answer the first set of questions, take a small break, then come back and answer the second set of questions.)

  1. What do you most need right now?
  2. What do you most want right now?
  3. What is your deepest fear?
  4. What is your biggest dream?
  5. What do you need to be happy?
  6. What is your greatest strength?
  7. What is your biggest obstacle?
  8. In what area are you your own worst enemy?
  9. What is the most satisfying part of your life?
  10. What is missing in your life?
  11. Where would you like to see the most change in the next year?
  12. What is your life purpose?

Do you see any patterns in the answers?  If so, there is your first clue as to where you may need to do some work on yourself.  When my coaching clients do this exercise, it always points to those places that are blocking them from living the life they want to live…these things are blocking them from achieving their goals.

Take one of the patterns you see, let’s say it is a fear of failure, and question your thinking?  Write down the answers to these questions.  What are you afraid of exactly?  Can you be absolutely certain that thought is true?  How do you feel when you think that thought?  Who would you be, how would you feel and what would you do without that thought?  Now create a different thought that makes you feel good (a thought in alignment with what you want) and whenever you catch yourself thinking the old thought, clear, cancel, delete and say the new thought to yourself.  Re-frame your thinking!

Thoughts are a choice my friends.  If a thought isn’t making you feel good, change it.  Every thought leads to a feeling and every feeling leads to an action/behavior.  If you want to change your behaviors you have to change your thoughts…that simple.

Don’t separate life from living.  Your life lies underneath your life situation at the moment.  You ARE living it!  This IS your life!  It is perfect just the way it is.  If you don’t have something in your life right now that you want, all that means is you probably don’t really need it right now.  If you needed it, it would be here.  The Universe is a kind place and there is a Divine order in everything that occurs.  Trust it!  Make life the best one you can…this is not a dress rehearsal.  😉

God is the lead dancer and the soul is the partner
completely attuned to the rhythm and patterns set by the partner. She does not lead, but neither does she hang limp like a sack of potatoes.
~Thomas Merton quoted in Listening to the Music of the Spirit by David Lonsdale

Hang in there,

Chris

To sign up for Chris’ Blog go to www.ChrisSopa.Wordpress.com.

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc. You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com. Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and .

How “Green” is Your Internal Environment?

July 19, 2012

Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us”. ~Stephen Covey

When I was 7 years old my friend Tracie and I decided to play “barber shop” in my garage.  Tracie had long blonde hair down to her hips of which her mother doted and was very proud.  As we took turns sitting in the barber chair pretending to cut each other’s hair, I had a brilliant idea…what if I really cut Tracie’s hair; her mother loved it and then used me to cut Tracie’s hair from now on!  (Give me a break, I was 7 years old!)  So, I ran in the house, got a pair of scissors and cut away.  I mean CUT away…when I was done Tracie’s hair was shorter than Liza Minnelli’s on a bad hair day!

Needless to say, her mother hated it, screamed at me and I was scarred for life!  This one incident led me to develop a complex for being an extreme perfectionist on top of being terrified of displeasing somebody for fear they would yell at me.  Whenever we have a heart wrenching experience, it sets up our conditioning in a way that (if we allow) changes our behaviors when a similar experience occurs in the future.  I obviously did not go into Cosmetology after that experience, but I did allow other people and events from then on to affect my choices.  Due to the fear of being yelled at, not liked and shamed for not being “perfect,” I began to make my life choices based on what I thought other people expected of me.  What’s funny about this habit is that how do you ever really know what someone else is thinking and what they expect of you?  You don’t!

Don Miguel Ruiz has a wonderful little book entitled, The Four Agreements.”  The four agreements are simply:

  1. Don’t make assumptions
  2. Do your best at all times
  3. Be impeccable with your word
  4. Don’t take things personal

The hardest one of these agreements, in my opinion, is not taking things personally.  When you can finally realize that we each interpret an experience based on our own conditioning and perspective, then we can finally understand that it is ok to make decisions without external input.  What we choose in the moment of the experience is ok, regardless of if anyone else agrees.

We hear constantly about greening the environment; adding solar panels on your house to all natural materials to make every item in your house is the green way to do things.  I say we all green our internal environment.  Take an inventory of the toxic items and garbage in that brain of yours, get rid of the hazards and create your internal environment to be one that is protected from external toxins; mainly, what other people think.  Why do you value what someone else thinks so much over your own thoughts?  What makes their thoughts better than yours?  Just because their external environment looks green, does not mean they are internally green.  Ask any coach…we hear and see it all day long!  We are all great actors.

Refuse to let anyone talk you out of your own feelings.

Refuse to be reduced to someone else’s opinion of you.

And know in this moment and every moment going forward that you are worthy of being loved unconditionally…no matter what the external environment is telling you.

Unconditionally green,

Chris

To sign up for Chris’ Blog go to www.ChrisSopa.Wordpress.com.

Chris Sopa is founder and owner of Chris Sopa International, Inc.  You can learn more about her at www.ChrisSopa.com.  Find her at Facebook.com/ChrisSopaInternational, Twitter @ChrisSopa, LinkedIn, and

Follow the Leader?

July 11, 2012

“Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” ~Muriel Strode, writer

A client of mine told me recently that she and her daughter went to see the new movie about Katy Perry and to her surprise, found it very inspiring.  I asked her what made it inspiring and she went on to tell me how when Katy Perry was “found,” many folks in the industry were trying to make her into a duplicate of one of the other already popular stars, such as Britney Spears and Avril Lavigne.  Katy insisted on not being a “second of somebody else” but a “first” Katy Perry.  As we all know, Katy Perry is a very good Katy Perry!  She was not afraid to be unique and most importantly, not afraid to be herself.

We all find ourselves throughout our lives in situations where we have to make a very important choice and the first thing we usually do is to seek the advice and counsel of others whom we trust.  We ask everyone what they think, how they feel and what they would do, often ignoring our own internal compass.  As we are growing up, other people’s opinions very much form how we see ourselves.  It is just human nature.  One day we finally realize that the view we have of ourselves and sometimes the entire life we are living was formed completely based on what other people thought we should do and we are nowhere to be found.

Doing what we feel is right free of outside influences is not as easy as it sounds.  We often get caught up in wanting to know ahead of time if the decision is the right one.  Somehow we think if others say it is so, then it must be true, not trusting our own feelings.  I like to call this an easy out because then if what we are pursuing doesn’t work out, guess what, it wasn’t our fault.  It was their fault because they were the ones who told us to do it in the first place, right?  The hardest thing about making choices is the big “R” word…Responsibility.  Once we make a choice, we must take responsibility for that choice.

Some rules of thumb for “good” choice-making:

  1. Define what you want and manifest your world free of the will of others and their influence.  What you think DOES matter!
  2. Have confidence in yourself and a higher power (whatever you may call your higher power – God, the Universe, Krishna, etc.).  This confidence allows you to relax and just be.
  3. Do not be afraid to be your true self.  It is so much easier to just be YOU than to try to be what you think everyone else expects you to be.  When you are being your true self, your life purpose easily unfolds right before your eyes.
  4. Be mindful of where you lose your power (when you suddenly feel differently in a negative way around a person, place or thing you have “lost your power”).  Cut cords with people, places, thoughts and situations that do not make you feel good.  These things are draining your energy and affecting your choices.
  5. Focus only on the moment.  Does the choice you are making now feel good in your gut?  There is a big difference between feeling like the right thing in your gut vs. feeling like the right thing because it is easy.  Check your feelings after you make the decision and see how you feel.  You will know down deep.  Be honest with yourself.
  6. Do not focus on the result.  I know that is contrary to what all of the business-minded people may think.  The result of any situation is ultimately not up to us.  Think about all of the situations in your life that have worked out due to synchronistic events or coincidences.  Could you have really planned and mastered all of that yourself?  Focus on the choice in the moment only.  The result will be whatever it will be and trust me, there is always a reason for why things work out the way they do.  The good or bad label we place on events is merely our own interpretation of the situation.
  7. Maintain mind control.  As Liz Gilbert so brilliantly said in “Eat, Pray and Love,” we need to choose our thoughts like we choose our clothes every day.  Master that and then you are onto something!
  8. Have faith.  Faith is a verb, not a noun.  If we always knew how every situation was going to turn out we would not need faith.  The known is knowledge; the unknown is faith.

Keep moving forward and lead your own parade.  Before you know it, others may be following YOU!

“As long as one keeps searching, the answers come.”
~Joan Baez, singer, songwriter and peace activist

Being my true self in the Scottsdale Starbucks,

Chris

For more information on Chris Sopa International, Inc. go to www.ChrisSopa.com.

To sign up for Chris’ Blog go to www.ChrisSopa.Wordpress.com.


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